The Myth of “Divorce Wars”

Most people want their Massachusetts divorce to be completed quickly and efficiently.  In fact, no one—at least no one who’s sane—has ever asked me if I could prolong a divorce just for the fun of it. So if everyone wants their divorce completed quickly, why do some divorces seem to take so long?

One reason is the myth of “divorce wars.” If your divorce is going to be another “War of the Roses” (starring Danny DeVito—very funny), why wouldn’t you want to hire the most aggressive lawyer around? Well, maybe I can give you a reason.

It may surprise you to know that many divorces are settled and completed quickly. Only one court appearance is needed, and that’s just for the judge to accept your divorce agreement. Again, most sane people want to get it done this way.

So it never ceases to amaze me why anyone would think it’s necessary to hire a pit-bull lawyer. Yes, sometimes you need aggressive action, particularly if your spouse is a bully or is something less than truthful (a polite way to say “liar”). But if the lawyers work together to establish a respectful and professional tone, there’s no reason why your divorce can’t be completed amicably, even if you can no longer stand the sight of your spouse.

You have the power to determine the tone of your divorce.  If you want it to be a “War of the Roses,” go for it. You can do it. Hire a gladiator. Stir things up. Insult your spouse. Seek revenge. And pay for it with your tears and with your wallet.

Or you can choose the high road by rising above your short-term emotions. It may be tough, but it will help you get through the muck of divorce so you can begin your new life. It’s your call.

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